There’s something fascinating about a global takeover by flesh-eating ghouls. Perhaps it’s the fact that the odds of you being devoured by said-ghouls are higher than Bobby Brown on a Tuesday afternoon. Needless to say, we’re all screwed.
Luckily, Hollywood has taken the initiative to show us how to deal with the threat of a zombie holocaust through totally kick ass movies.
5) Fido (2006)
Fido is basically Lassie, but you replace the dog with a bloodthirsty zombie. It’s set in an alternate 1950s in the town of Willard, where humans have won the Zombie Wars. Actor/comedian Billy Connolly plays Fido, one of the many living dead who have been domesticated to be servants of the still living. Fido becomes young Timmy Robinson’s pet and a friendship blossoms. Then Fido eats Timmy’s neighbor and classmates, and things get even more awesome from there.
4) Day of the Dead (1985)
George Romero’s third installment of his zombie trilogy. Survivors of the zombie apocalypse take shelter in an underground military bunker complete with asshole military officers and zany scientists. This movie is practically made by the bat shit nuts leader Captain Rhodes, who screams, “Choke on ‘em!” to the zombies as they tear out and devour his entrails. This also has the distinction of being the first zombie flick I had ever seen that showed a character off himself instead of fighting his way out. Baller.
3) Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Simon Pegg (Shaun) and Nick Frost (Ed) showed audiences how to be a complete moron and still somehow make it through the zombie apocalypse (well, ::SPOILER:: except for that douche with the glasses who had the best death in the movie). What makes it so good is that not only was this movie hilarious, it was also eerie and relentlessly gory. And best of all, NO one was safe. Ever wondered what it would be like to have to kill your mother if she became a zombie? It also made you second-guess choosing the local bar as your safe house when flesh-eaters take over. Beer = good. Being eaten alive = bad. You make the call.
People have sure put Zombieland up on a pedestal, but Shaun of the Dead is the best zombie-spoof ever. Plus, Queen was on the soundtrack. QUEEN, dammit!
2) 28 Days Later…
Before the whole word popped boners over Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle directed this gem about a ‘roided-up rabies virus that turns the majority of Britain’s population into killing machines. Imagine the crack head from Chappelle’s Show if he just wanted to beat people to death and spit blood everywhere. You may be trying to argue that these aren’t “technically” zombies. Well, it’s my list, so suck it.
Boyle was able to use his artistic prowess to make the movie even more terrifying by using a grainy film style. Boyle explained, “The general idea was to try and shoot as though we were survivors too.” Days Later… also introduced much of the world to pretty-boy Cillian Murphy (who would later play Dr. Crane aka The Scarecrow in the new Batman movies).
1) Dawn of the Dead (1978)
If you fancy yourself a horror fan and have never seen this George Romero movie, you are retarded. The sequel to Night of the Living Dead has an ass load of zombies, bikers, and guts that look like they were made from Play-dough. The real tension in Romero’s zombie flicks is between the different groups of humans, and Dawn… is no different. A gang of bikers eventually breaks into the mall, and the survivors had to fight off their new foes, as well as the hundreds of zombies that follow the bikers into the mall. But it’s all right, the bikers get ripped to shit, and it’s hilarious.
The story is nail-bitingly creepy (being stuck in a shopping mall while your former family and friends try to eat you) and the gore factor is through the roof (I will never stick my arm in a blood-pressure machine without looking around first). Most of all, Dawn of the Dead can still make me wet my bed at night, which makes it the most kick ass zombie movie of all time.
